When Abuse Turns Fatal: The Tool That Could Save Your Life
More than 1,500 Americans are killed each year by intimate partners. This is not random violence. It follows a pattern. And there is something you can do about it before it’s too late.
Every day, the news carries another story. A woman shot by her estranged husband. A child killed in the crossfire of a custody dispute turned deadly. A man who called police a dozen times before his partner finally took his life. Behind each headline is a history, a pattern of escalating power and control that, left uninterrupted, culminates in the most permanent of outcomes.
At Document The Abuse (DTA), we say this plainly: domestic violence homicides are not inevitable. They are predictable. And they are preventable. The statistics are staggering. But statistics are made of people and people have options, even when it doesn’t feel that way.
This article lays out the hard numbers, explains why certain states remain trapped in a cycle of deadly abuse, identifies the lethality warning signs every survivor and advocate must know, and, most importantly, shows how the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit (EAA) is one of the most powerful proactive tools available to survivors and their families today.
The Numbers Don’t Lie: But They Do Shock
Americans experience domestic violence annually — that’s 20 people every single minute, according to the CDC’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey. Of those, women represent 73% of all victims.
According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, there were more than 1.8 million domestic violence victimizations in 2024 alone. But it is the fatality figures that demand our full attention:
Intimate partners are responsible for nearly 50% of all female homicides and 10% of male homicides in the United States. (Women on Guard / CDC data)
More than 40% of all female homicide victims are killed by a current or former intimate partner. (domesticviolencedatabase.org, 2025)
Domestic violence leads to over 1,500 preventable deaths each year in the United States. (South Denver Therapy, 2025)
An estimated 62% of all murder-suicides involve an intimate partner. (Women on Guard)
Only about 50% of incidents are ever reported to law enforcement, meaning the true scale of abuse-related death is almost certainly higher than reported.
The economic toll is also staggering: the cost of intimate partner violence in the U.S. exceeds $14.34 billion annually in today’s dollars, with survivors losing a combined 8 million days of paid work each year.
Why Certain States Can’t Escape the Top Ten
If you live in the South, or if you’ve been paying attention to domestic violence statistics for any length of time, you know that states like South Carolina, Kentucky, Oklahoma, and Arkansas consistently appear at the top of the most dangerous lists. This is not coincidence. It is the convergence of specific, identifiable forces.
South Carolina: A Case Study in Systemic Failure
Look through the magnifying glass to South Carolina, and we will not sugarcoat the truth: South Carolina has ranked in the top 10 states for domestic violence homicides for 23 of the past 25 years, according to the Violence Policy Center. In 2024 alone, there were 59 domestic violence homicides in the state — up significantly from 30 in 2023.
In 2024, 76% of household murder victims in South Carolina were women, and 91% of all domestic homicides occurred at a residence. In 66% of cases, a firearm was the murder weapon. The femicide rate in South Carolina, women murdered by men, has historically run at more than twice the national average. In 2024, more than 75 of the state’s domestic violence homicides included children and other family members. The primary cause of death was a gunshot, with 85% of female victims dying by bullet. The presence of a firearm in a domestic violence situation increases the risk of a woman being killed by 500%.
“South Carolina records an average of more than 30,000 cases of intimate partner violence each year. More than 92% of victims knew their offender as a current or former spouse, boyfriend, relative, friend, or acquaintance.”— SCCADVASA (SC Coalition Against Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault), 2024
Why Does This Keep Happening?
Cultural normalization of control: In many Southern communities, historic attitudes around gender roles, privacy, and “family matters” create environments where abuse is minimized or tolerated.
Firearm access: High rates of household gun ownership combined with weak protections against abusers retaining firearms create a lethal equation.
Economic dependency: Financial abuse is present in an estimated 95% of domestic violence cases nationally. Survivors in lower-income rural communities face extreme barriers to leaving.
Geographic isolation: Rural counties have limited access to shelters, legal advocacy, and law enforcement resources.
Stalled legislation: A number of DV-related bills in South Carolina’s 2025 legislative session failed to advance out of committee.
South Carolina is not alone. Oklahoma saw domestic violence homicides spike 16% in 2023, the highest number on record, with 122 victims. Nevada reported 45 DV-related homicides in 2025. Colorado reported a 24% increase in DV fatalities in 2024, even as its overall homicide rate hit a five-year low, a chilling indicator that intimate partner violence is trending in the wrong direction.
The Escalation Pattern: How Abuse Becomes Fatal
One of the most dangerous myths about domestic violence homicide is that it “comes out of nowhere.” It does not. Researchers, advocates, and law enforcement professionals are increasingly unified on this point: domestic violence lethality is patterned, predictable, and assessable.
The abuse doesn’t simply jump from argument to murder. It follows a trajectory, increasing in frequency, intensifying in severity, and eroding the perpetrator’s restraints over time. Understanding where a relationship sits on that trajectory is, quite literally, a matter of life and death.
The Lethality Warning Signs Every Survivor Needs to Know
Based on the research of Dr. Jacquelyn Campbell of Johns Hopkins University, the following factors significantly elevate the risk of intimate partner homicide. If you recognize multiple factors in your relationship, your life may be at risk:
An abuser with access to a gun increases lethal risk by 500%. If guns are in the home, document their presence as part of your safety planning immediately.
Prior threats to kill — directed at the victim, children, family, or the abuser themselves — are one of the strongest predictors of intimate partner homicide. The more specific the threat, the higher the danger.
Non-fatal strangulation is one of the highest lethality indicators in DV research. In at least half of cases, there are no visible marks. A history of strangulation dramatically increases the chance of future lethal violence.
When violence increases in either how often it happens or how serious it is, research consistently links this to higher homicide risk. Trust the pattern, not the honeymoon phase that follows.
When abuse begins to include children, it often signals a dangerous escalation. Children are at severe risk of becoming collateral fatalities.
The period when a victim decides to leave is statistically one of the most dangerous moments. Women who leave face up to a 75% greater risk of being killed. Planning your exit safely is not optional — it is survival strategy.
Stalking — physical surveillance, digital monitoring, GPS tracking — signals the abuser’s obsessive need for control. In 2025, an estimated 70% of DV survivors reported being monitored through phones, GPS, or social media.
When an abuser expresses that there is “nothing left to lose” or that the relationship’s end means the end of everything — treat it as a credible lethal threat. Murder-suicide is a predictable outcome in these scenarios.
Abusers who control daily activities, finances, movement, and relationships demonstrate complete possession of the victim. When they believe they are “losing” that control, danger escalates sharply.
Domestic violence often escalates from verbal and emotional abuse to physical violence during pregnancy. This is a uniquely high-risk period and the risk of serious assault or homicide rises sharply.
“Only about half of femicide victims in research studies accurately assessed that they were likely to be killed. Abused women often underestimate the potential for homicide.”— Campbell et al., The Danger Assessment: Validation of a Lethality Risk Assessment Instrument, Johns Hopkins University
Current Cases: The Pattern in Real Time
These are not abstractions. Here are documented recent cases that reflect the patterns described above:
RECENT CASE — LAS VEGAS, 2026
Domestic Violence Linked to 30% of Las Vegas Homicides
In early 2026, Metro Police in Las Vegas reported that 6 of the city’s first 20 homicides were domestic violence-related — making intimate partner violence the single leading cause of homicide in the jurisdiction. A woman called 911 to report her ex-boyfriend threatening her with a gun inside her apartment. She was shot and killed before officers arrived. A three-year-old child was also killed by his father during a domestic dispute that escalated into a hostage situation. “Domestic violence homicides continue to be the leading cause of death for women in this country,” said Liz Ortenburger, CEO of SafeNest.
RECENT CASE — COLORADO, 2025
DV Fatalities Rise 24% Even as Overall Homicides Fall
The Colorado Domestic Violence Fatality Review Board’s 2025 report found 54 DV fatality cases resulting in 72 deaths — a 24% increase from the prior year. Eight of those deaths were children between three months and seven years old. Firearms were present in four out of five deaths. Five children were killed specifically during custody disputes, highlighting the danger of the separation and post-separation period.
Source: https://coag.gov/2025/colorado-domestic-violence-victim-fatalities-rise-in-2024/
RECENT CASE — OKLAHOMA, 2025
Most DV Homicides in State History
Oklahoma’s Fatality Review Board reported 122 victims in 2023 — the highest number ever recorded and a 16% increase over the prior year. Women comprised 82% of intimate partner homicide victims. On average, 59 children witness the violent death of a family member each year as a direct result of domestic violence.
RECENT CASE — SOUTH CAROLINA, 2025
46 Homicides Honored at Silent Witness Ceremony
In October 2025, dozens gathered at the SC Statehouse for the 28th annual Silent Witness Ceremony, where life-size cardboard silhouettes represented each of the 46 domestic violence homicide victims killed in 2024 — surpassing the previous year’s count of 30. Attorney General Alan Wilson noted that 91% of incidents occurred at residences. South Carolina remains in the top-10 states for DV fatalities for 23 of the past 25 years.
What Survivors and Families Can Do: Proactive Steps That Save Lives
We say this with all the urgency and compassion we have: you are not powerless. Even in situations where leaving feels dangerous or impossible, there are concrete steps that can protect you and your children.
Do not announce your plan to leave. Exit planning must be done covertly. Visit a library, trusted friend’s home, or safe computer, never a shared device.
Take the Danger Assessment. Dr. Jacquelyn Campbell’s research-based tool (dangerassessment.org) gives you a structured measure of your risk. Use it with an advocate.
Document the abuse starting now. Every incident, every threat, every injury. Photographs with timestamps. Texts and voicemails screenshotted and stored safely. Hospital report numbers.
Create the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit (EAA). This is your voice if you are ever unable to speak. See below for exactly how the EAA works.
Know the firearms situation. If your abuser has access to guns, note the type, location, and number. Document this in your EAA.
Identify your safe people. A trusted attorney, advocate, or family member should hold a copy of your EAA.
Create a safety plan with a DV advocate. Call the National DV Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE for personalized support.
The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit: Your Voice. Your Evidence. Your Life.
What Is the EAA — and Why Does It Change Everything?
Born out of the case of Stacy Peterson, sister-in-law of Document the Abuse Executive Director, Norma Peterson, who disappeared in 2007, the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit (EAA) was created by the late domestic violence expert Susan Murphy-Milano to solve one of the most critical gaps in the justice system: the disappearance of the victim’s voice.
The EAA combines:
- A detailed written statement of the survivor’s history and experiences with their abuser
- Video testimony in the survivor’s own words
- Supporting documentation: police reports, hospital records, photos, threatening messages
- Critical identifying information about the abuser; photo, date of birth, SSN, employer, and whether firearms are in the home
When notarized, the EAA functions simultaneously as an affidavit and a legal will. It is specifically designed to overcome hearsay objections that derail domestic violence prosecutions, particularly when the victim has been killed, has gone missing, or is too afraid to testify. It is housed at DocumentTheAbuse.org and is completely free.
Start Your EAA Now →How the EAA Works in Practice
Think of the EAA as a legal time capsule. In far too many domestic violence homicide cases, the perpetrator walks free, not because there isn't evidence of abuse, but because the evidence that existed was never formally preserved. The survivor was afraid. The police report was incomplete. The neighbors "didn't want to get involved." The abuser isolated the victim from everyone who might have testified.
The EAA systematically dismantles these barriers. When a completed, notarized EAA exists:
Law enforcement can immediately identify the person of interest if the victim goes missing or is found deceased, without waiting for the investigation to build from scratch.
Prosecutors have a sworn, documented record of the abuse pattern that withstands hearsay challenges under the Forfeiture by Wrongdoing doctrine particularly when the defendant's own actions made the victim unavailable to testify.
The abuser knows documentation exists. For some perpetrators, this knowledge alone creates a deterrent effect fundamentally shifting the power dynamic in the relationship.
Children are protected. The EAA documents the full danger picture, which can be critical in custody proceedings and child safety determinations.
"This is a log that cannot be disputed," said Norma Peterson, Executive Director of Document The Abuse. "It lives on in the awful event that the victim does not."
The EAA can be created at any time, even years after incidents occurred. There is no time limit. But the earlier you create it, the more protection it offers.
The EAA as a Deterrence Tool
Here is what is rarely discussed in conversations about domestic violence documentation: the act of creating the EAA can itself be a safety intervention. When a survivor documents their abuse in a legally structured, notarized format and places copies with trusted parties, they are sending an unambiguous signal to the abuser: I have prepared for you. I have ensured that my story will be told, with or without me.
For an abuser whose entire behavioral pattern is built on the belief that their actions will go undocumented, uncharged, and unpunished, this knowledge changes the calculation. It does not guarantee safety. Nothing does. But it redistributes power in a relationship that has been defined by one person's complete domination of another.
If Someone You Love Is in an Abusive Relationship
If you are reading this not for yourself but for someone you care about, please understand this: the most dangerous thing you can do is pressure a survivor to leave before they are ready and safe. The most useful thing you can do is help them document their situation.
Encourage them, gently, patiently, repeatedly to create an EAA. Offer to be one of the trusted people who holds a copy. Learn the lethality warning signs. Take them seriously when they minimize. Trust your own instincts when something feels wrong.
Domestic violence advocates, attorneys, paralegals, healthcare providers, social workers, and first responders can also be trained to use the EAA process. Contact DTA to learn how to bring this training to your organization.
The Bottom Line: Document. Survive. Prevail.
The statistics in this post are not meant to paralyze, they are meant to galvanize. Domestic violence homicide is the end point of a documented, predictable pattern. Identifying where you are in that pattern, taking the lethality factors seriously, and using every available tool to document your reality are not optional steps for survivors in danger, they are survival strategies.
The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit is not a guarantee. It is a weapon, a legal, documented, strategic weapon that ensures a survivor's voice does not die with them. It is one of the most powerful acts of self-advocacy available to any person living with intimate partner violence today.
At Document The Abuse, we believe survivors deserve every tool, every resource, and every advantage the system can offer. The EAA is yours. Use it. It’s FREE.
Resources
- Document The Abuse — Create Your EAA
- Danger Assessment Tool (Dr. Jacquelyn Campbell, Johns Hopkins University)
- National Domestic Violence Hotline — 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
- SC Coalition Against Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault
- Violence Policy Center — When Men Murder Women (Annual Report)
- WomensLaw.org — Danger Assessment Guide
Sources: CDC NISVS 2016/2017 & 2023/2024;
Bureau of Justice Statistics Criminal Victimization 2024;
SCCADVASA 2024; SC AG DV Fatality Report 2025;
Colorado DV Fatality Review Board 2025;
Oklahoma DV Fatality Review Board 2025;
Nevada Coalition to End DV 2025;
Violence Policy Center 2024; Dr. Jacquelyn Campbell, Johns Hopkins University; documenttheabuse.org;
Post and Courier SC, October 2025.
Dedicated to the memory of Stacy Peterson, Kathleen Savio, and Susan Murphy-Milano, and to every survivor whose voice we are committed to preserving.
