Who Was Susan Murphy Milano? The Woman Behind the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit
Fast Facts:
Hometown: Chicago, Illinois
Known for: Creating the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit (EAA)
Books: Defending Our Lives (1996), Time's Up! (2010) Holding My Hand Through Hell (2012)
Legislative work: Illinois' 1993 stalking law and the 1996 federal Lautenberg Amendment
Died: October 28, 2012
Every survivor who completes an Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit is carrying forward the work of one woman. Her name was Susan Murphy Milano. This Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Document the Abuse is honoring her every week.
The series builds toward October 28. On that date in 2007, Stacy Peterson disappeared. On that same date in 2012, Susan died. Those two days are bound together in DTA's history, and in the tool survivors use today.
Before we tell that story, we want you to know who Susan was.
A Chicago Daughter
Susan was born in Chicago to Roberta and Phillip Murphy. Her father was a decorated Chicago police detective who investigated violent crimes. To the outside world, he was the one people called for protection.
Inside the family, the story was different. Susan grew up knowing what it meant to live with abuse behind a respected badge, and to know that the systems meant to help would struggle to see it.
Susan Murphy Milano
January 1989
In January 1989, her father killed her mother, Roberta, and then took his own life. Susan was the one who found them.
Roberta's death was not a mystery and it was not random. It was the end point of a pattern that had been visible for years to anyone willing to look. Susan understood that better than anyone. She also understood that her mother had never had a way to put that pattern on the record in a form that police, prosecutors, or courts would take seriously.
From Grief to a Lifelong Mission
Susan made a vow after her mother's death: she would change the way intimate partner crimes and homicides were handled and investigated. She spent the rest of her life keeping it.
She did not wait for permission. Within a few years she was lobbying lawmakers, and she helped push for Illinois' 1993 stalking law and the 1996 federal Lautenberg Amendment, which bars people convicted of domestic violence from possessing firearms. She spoke to police officers, students, and community groups. She went on national television, including The Oprah Winfrey Show, 20/20, and Larry King Live, and later hosted her own weekly radio show.
In 1996 she published her first book, Defending Our Lives, timed to coincide with Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Thirty years later, we are honoring her in the very month she used to reach survivors.
What set Susan apart was her focus. Awareness mattered to her, but she kept asking a harder question: when a victim finally comes forward, what will the system actually have in its hands?
Her Answer Lives On
Susan's answer to that question became the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit. It gives survivors a way to document what is happening to them, in their own words, in a form that can stand up when it matters most. It puts the record back in the survivor's hands.
Document the Abuse exists to carry that work forward. Today the EAA is available through a secure online platform, supported by workshops and training for law enforcement, legal, and mental health professionals.
Over the next three weeks, we will tell the rest of Susan's story: how she took on the system, how Time's Up gave the EAA its form, and how October 28 came to hold two anniversaries.
Honor Susan This Month
Learn about the EAA. If you or someone you love is living with abuse, the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit was created for you.
Share her story. Use #BecauseOfSusan so more people learn her name.
Tell us what she meant to you. If Susan touched your life, we would be honored to hear from you.
Quick Questions
Who was Susan Murphy Milano? A Chicago domestic violence advocate who created the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit after losing her mother to domestic violence in 1989.
What is the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit? A sworn, notarized affidavit with video testimony that preserves a victim's account of abuse in case they are incapacitated, go missing, or are killed.
How is Susan connected to Stacy Peterson? Stacy's disappearance on October 28, 2007 moved Susan to develop the EAA. Susan died five years later to the day.
More information about the EAA (Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit)
How the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit (EAA) Supports Legal and Law Enforcement Efforts
About the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit (EAA)
If you are a victim of violence, stalking, or harassment this link takes you directly to the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit. CLICK HERE
